


Little Things

by SleepyLarik



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond, Hate, Kylo and Rey hate each other, Love, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Smut, Some sad stuff, Time Skips, except in their heads, nice stuff too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-20 23:46:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11931861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyLarik/pseuds/SleepyLarik
Summary: Living creatures were not meant to be shrouded in complete darkness. The creatures who evolve and adapt to thrive on the darkness were unnatural… abominations… and yet Kylo envied them. They may be creatures of darkness, spurned by beings of light, but they never yearned for the light, either. Not like Kylo. For even when he plunged head first into the black hole of his soul, he still reached out for the light above. Her.





	1. Becoming a Monster

**Author's Note:**

> So, first story, but I really dig Reylo, so I wrote this just now on my cellphone. Enjoy!  
> PS: Since I wrote this on my phone, and Im uploading it with my cell, formatting is really hard. So, the inner thoughts wont be italicized, but there are obvious indicators that they're just thoughts. Anyways, hope that's good

Living creatures were not meant to be shrouded in complete darkness. The creatures who evolve and adapt to thrive on the darkness were unnatural… abominations… and yet Kylo envied them. They may be creatures of darkness, spurned by beings of light, but they never yearned for the light, either. Not like Kylo. For even when he plunged head first into the black hole of his soul, he still reached out for the light above. _Her_.

***

Rey awoke to the sound of screaming. She sat up, sweating and out of breath, and ran out the crew’s quarters. She bolted down the halls of the Falcon, her heart thundering in her chest as she searched for the scream.

She checked the cargo hold, and found it empty, and spun around to look elsewhere when Chewbacca grabbed her by the shoulders and asked if she was all right in Shyriiwook.

“I-uh… cant you hear it?” she asked as the screams faded.

The wookie tilted his head and roared that he only heard her frantic running.

“I heard screaming…” she trailed off as an image flashed through her head.

Kylo Ren on the floor in front of a vaguely humanoid alien, and the “creature in the mask” is bleeding. He’s begging, and Rey is watching, stunned. Kylo turns to her and-

The screams echoed in Rey’s mind, and she looked at the lightsaber she’d unknowingly grabbed from her cot. Another vision?

****

Four weeks later

Rey looked at the setting sun over the horizon. Although she’d seen the intense greenery of Tadokana, the powder white snow of Starkiller base, the rocky outcrop of D’Qar, there was something about Ach-to which brought her peace that she’d never known before. She could almost understand why Luke refused to leave. Almost.

The Jedi Master was… different from what Rey had imagined. He truly was a symbol of serenity, but with his inner calm, came the feeling of soul crushing defeat. His eyes were intense - as intense as his - and it always felt like he saw something more. He saw death.

Despite the sense of defeat that permeated his very aura, he was still willing to instruct Rey on the ways of the Force. However, it was in his training that she found her “peace” running in the opposite direction. She couldnt understand how doing a handstand while levitating a few stones would help her, or her friends.

How can I defeat a man who can stop blaster bolts with his mind through the levitation of stones?

She’d prevailed once - against a bleeding, distracted Kylo Ren. A Kylo Ren who had focused most of his energy into recruiting her to his side. Kylo Ren, whose screams would echo throughout her mind on some days, but it wasnt his shouts that kept her awake.

It was his whispers. Little things.

You are light, he would say as she was looking at the rocky beach of the island.

Why do I want this? he’d ask, and she would answer, but he never acknowledged it.

She tried shutting him out, but she inevitably opened her mind to him whenever she felt cold and alone, which happened often considering Master Luke’s advice to her would be to spend hours in isolation and meditation.

You’re back, he would say.

I missed you.

****  
Months later

Rey slammed her fist into the helmet, and felt a jolt of pain through her arm as a response. She succeeded in creating space between her and Kylo, however.

She held her rapidly numbing hand to the side as she used her right hand to block a strike with the same blue lightsaber she’d used to take him down all those months ago.

I think I broke a few fingers.

“A few broken fingers… tch, poor Scavenger,” he said aloud, his voice modulated through his dented mask.

“Stay out of my head, or else I wont tell you a bedtime story next time you’re upset, Ben,” she said with a cruel smile.

He responded with a brutal swipe that nicked her across the stomach, but the wound was superficial. She hoped.

Kylo growled, and Rey had to force herself not to back down. She knew that luring him away from the battle saved the lives of her comrades, but alone in the jungle clearing, he towered over her like a predator. Clad in his black garb while he gripped the hilt of his three pronged light saber, he looked like a nightmare personified. A nightmare that she would actually talk to on lonely nights.

She shook her head and tried to focus.

“Come with me,” he said as he circled her. “You hate me, don’t you?”

“With every fibre of my being,” she answered in a sweet voice.

He stilled, and if not for the crackling of his lightsaber, she would’ve thought that time had ceased. “Use it,” he growled as he sprung forward with a swipe from below. She blocked it, the impact rattling her very bones, and she barely had enough time to block a jab to her shoulder.

She grimaced as the tip of his saber poked through her defenses, and burnt her left shoulder slightly.

“What did I say, girl? Do. You. Hate. Me?” He punctuated each word with another slash, and each one felt like a landspeeder running her over.

She yelped as she ducked and slashed at his legs.   
“Yes!” She pushed with her injured hand, and slammed him into a tree using the Force.

With a yell, Rey charged toward him, tears streaming from her eyes, and the heat of her lightsaber close to her face and-

Everything I touch turns to ash, Kylo said to her once. Everything but you.

She switched her lightsaber off and lifted him up with the Force again before throwing him into the ground, knocking him unconscious.

Rey panted, and wiped at her face. She turned around to return to the battle, but not before she heard another whisper in her head.

You burn me, Rey.

****  
One year later

Rey hung limply from the wall, and felt blood trickle from the open wound on her temple. They’d sedated her to prevent her from using the Force to escape. It was annoying that the First Order wasnt incompetent.

She heard him before she saw him. The thunderous footsteps. The subtle rustle of cloth against the durasteel floors. She looked up to find an unmasked Kylo Ren regarding her with his dark, intense eyes.

“Are you here to go into my mind again?” she said. “Or are you just here to look your fill?”

He folded his leather clad arms across his chest. “I dont see why I cant look and touch.”

Rey schooled the expression on her face, and didnt allow her anxiety to show. “Are you sure your Master will allow you to lay a hand on me? Dont you have to get permission any time you have to use the ‘fresher?”

Instead of his usual anger, Kylo smiled. She scowled at him - mostly because his smile made her… react in a non-mortal enemy way.

“My little Scavenger… my Rey,” he said as cheerfully as possible. Mine, he added through their Force bond.

Rey spat on the ground in front of him. It worried her that her saliva had blood mixed with it.

“You’re scum,” she said.

He maintained his smile, but she caught a flicker of something else. Annoyance? Anger?

“Considering you consider traitors and criminals as your friends, I’d say your opinion doesnt mean very much.”

“You mean your mother, whose heart breaks every time she has to hear someone tell the truth about this creature you’ve become? Your Uncle who loved you and trained-”

“Enough! He did not love me. He fucking hated me. I was everything he hated. I was- I was a reminder. A reminder that the universe isnt right. A reminder that he’d failed with Vader. The Dark Side lives. Through me. And through you, Rey,” he said, shoving a hand through his long hair.

She shook her head. “You had a family.”

“A family that didnt believe me! A family that ignored me when I heard voices. Ignored me when the darkness came for me. I was-”

“-abandoned,” they said at the same time. Where his chest was heaving with the stress and effort of his rant, Rey was preternaturally still. She felt his turmoil and his pain as if it was her own, and she knew he was not lying. He couldnt. Not to her.

“You didnt have to become this monster,” she said quietly.

He smiled again, but this time it was merely a window to the pain in his soul.

“I was always a monster,” he said before turning and leaving her cell. It was only in the minutes after his departure that she realized what she saw flicker across his face when she’d called him scum.

_Shame_. 


	2. Be Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo gets permission from the Supreme Leader to turn Rey to the Dark Side, and they begin training... but nothing ever goes smoothly with them, do they

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who gave Kudos for chapter one! So, I wrote this on my cell again, but I tried to format it properly. Any parts I didn't see are my fault. Hope you enjoy the second chapter!

“Supreme Leader, I can turn her! I feel her rage and loneliness. She’s susceptible to the Dark Side,” Kylo pleaded on bended knee. The hologram of Snoke hovered over him like an otherworldly spectre of the Dark Side. He was darkness.

“Are you sure it is her that’s susceptible? You seem to be… weak toward her,” Snoke’s thunderous voice reverberated throughout the chamber, causing chills to creep up Kylo’s spine.

Kylo shook his head. “Of course not, Master. I vanquished my weakness with the body of Han Solo.”

Snoke laughed, and it was as inhuman as his appearance. It was a mockery of what a laugh should sound like, and it never failed to fill Kylo with dread.

“I would hope so, Apprentice. I would hate for you to fail me now. Perhaps the girl will be a suitable replacement for you if you prove too weak.”

Kylo raised his head and met Snoke’s stare with one of his own. “I would expect nothing less, Supreme Leader.”

****

The Knight clenched his fists as he looked at the defiant gaze of the Scavenger. She had a way of looking at him that made his mask feel nonexistent. He felt naked in front of her.

“I see that isolation has not made you more grateful to my good will,” he said.

Rey growled, and though he would never admit it, the sound was actually calming to him.

“The stench of the Dark Side is strong with you, Ren. Have you spoken with your little Master?” she said haughtily.

“Your insolence will not incite me into killing you-”

She scoffed as he took a step toward her. Since she was hanging off a wall, they were equal in height for once.

“-but if you refuse to submit, then I will have no choice but to kill you.”

Rey smiled at him. “May as well kill me now. We both know I will never submit to you.”

_That isn’t what you said the other night_ , he said through their bond.

Rey twisted her head and looked away from him, but Kylo could see a blush creeping up her skin.

_I didn’t_ , she replied.

“Not yet,” he said aloud. She turned her head back toward him at the sound.

“Why do you hide behind the mask, Kylo? Are you ashamed of the beauty mark I gave you?”

Without preamble, Kylo reached up, and detached his mask. He noticed Rey’s smile faltered as he removed it, revealing the scar that slashed diagonally across his face. A scar that somehow still looked fresh, but that’s because he refused treatment for it.

Kylo pointed at his face. “This scar is a sign, my little Scavenger.”

“O-of what?” she said with a quiver in her voice. He took a few more steps forward until their faces were separated by mere inches. He looked into his distorted reflection in her almond eyes, the freckles dotting her nose, and her bow-shaped lips. He leaned closer, and heard her take a deep breath.

“It's a sign that there is darkness and fire within you, Rey,” he said as he brushed her cheek with his lips lightly. “And I will be the one to bring it out.”

He forced himself to turn around and walk away from her without another glance.

****  
6 months ago

_What do you dream of?_ Kylo asked.

He heard her snort, and for a moment, he thought she was right there with him. He opened his eyes, and tried to avoid feeling disappointment at the sight of the empty training room. He was alone.

_You looked into my head. Maker, you’re in my head, Kylo. You tell me_ , she said.

Kylo tried not to feel ashamed for the way he probed her mind, and told himself that it was necessary. Please.

Silence. Kylo gripped his thighs so hard that he was sure he’d see bruises later, and he was about to take out his lightsaber to destroy the training equipment when he heard Rey sigh through the Bond.

_I see… an island. Sometimes I see memories, and other times I see things that haven’t happened yet. But I always see the island,_ she said. Kylo suppressed a smile, for fear she’d somehow sense it. He knew it took a great deal of trust for her to admit that.

_Tell me about the island_.

_It's so green. The water is bluer than any sky… and I know I’ll be safe. The island is safe, she said, her hope and affection obvious even though they were probably in different star systems. What about your dreams, Kylo?_

Kylo felt a pang of fear in his chest at the thought of his dreams, but decided that talking about them was only fair to Rey.

_I used to have nightmares. I still do. I’ve had them… for as long as I can remember. I see fire, monsters, and death. I thought it would go away as I mastered the Force, but… they continue._

_Are all your dreams just nightmares?_

_Yes, but sometimes…_ Kylo paused, and looked out at the viewport, revealing the blanket of stars that encompassed his vision. _I see the light._

****

Rey followed Kylo through the cold corridors of the Finalizer and narrowed her eyes in suspicion at her captor. They’d yet to encounter a trooper, officer, or even a droid. It was as if Kylo had planned a route devoid of anyone at all.

Maybe he had.

With his back turned to her, Rey was sorely tempted to attack, but she understood that she wouldn’t make it off the star destroyer alive. She knew, for a fact, that all the docking bays were locked down, and she had no idea where her lightsaber was hidden.

She could use Kylo’s saber, but-

_Han Solo, impaled, forgiving his son_ …

-Rey swore she would never hold the monstrosity. What did it say about her that she was sometimes friendly with the wielder of that weapon?

He stopped in front of a set of doors, and he opened them with a wave of his hand. Rey followed him into the room, which she realized was a training room of some sorts.

Kylo turned to her, and quickly removed his mask before levitating it to a spot beside the door. She looked at his face again, and fought the urge to look away. His long dark hair curled around his face before falling in waves past his chin.

He was pale, which highlighted the intensity of his dark eyes. The scar that bisected his face was an angry red across his white skin, and she was thankful that she hadn’t taken out one of his eyes.

_Wait, why am I thankful?_

She didn’t have time to dwell on her troubling thoughts, because Kylo flicked his wrist, and a wooden staff came flying at her side. Out of reflex, she grabbed it with her left hand, and followed the momentum into a spin, and jabbed it toward Kylo’s throat as she turned.

She could see that the staff was about to connect with his neck, but a massive Force push aimed at her midsection catapulted her to the wall on the other side of the room.

Gasping, her back crashed into the hard steel walls, and her vision blurred as her head collided with the wall.

Kylo still had his hand raised, keeping her a full foot above the ground, pinned against the wall.

“Do you want to know your mistake, my little Rey?” Kylo said, his voice oddly calm and… gentle? It infuriated her.

“I trusted a bastard.”

He cocked his head to the side. “That’s true, but that isn’t your only mistake.”

She growled and tried to dispel the Force that held her against the wall. Even with a Force push of her own, she was trapped. She sensed the Force like a net, wrapping around her body and strapping her against the durasteel. It wasn't possible to escape…

“What,” she said with a grimace.

“That’s not how you ask, Rey,” Kylo said, laughing.

Yelling, Rey allowed the Force to explode outward, and she was able to move an arm forward… before having it slammed back against the wall within a second.

“The sooner you do it, the sooner you’ll be released, Rey,” Kylo said, back to that gentle tone.

With sweat dripping from her forehead in concentration, Rey tried one last time to untangle herself from Kylo’s trick, but failed once again.

She let out a frustrated groan. “What was my mistake, _Master_?” she said, her voice dripping with malice.

Kylo dropped his hand, and Rey fell onto the ground simultaneously.

She sprung to her feet and charged him. Kylo grabbed a wooden sparring sword from the side using the Force, and met her attack head on.

Their wooden weapons clashed with so much force that the wood groaned, threatening to splinter.

“You still don’t trust the Force, Rey,” he said, ducking a swipe from her and attempted to slash at her legs.

She jumped into the air and sent a Force push toward him, which propelled her backwards harmlessly.

Kylo shielded himself from the Push by crossing his arms across his face, but he was shoved back several feet.

“I think I trust the Force,” Rey said with a smile.

Kylo returned the smile as she charged toward him, attacking him with jabs and swipes. He blocked, deflected, and countered them all with just as much ferocity, but Rey quickly realized she was losing.

Although her attacks were powerful in their own right, even his careless slashes threatened to knock her off her feet. He was that strong.

Shouting, Rey tried to slash her staff down onto his head as she jumped, but Kylo reached out with the Force, and sent her staff spinning from her hands. Not one to give up, she tried to kick him, but he trapped it in his armpit, and shoved her down to the ground.

Rey landed with a huff, and tried to send him off with her hands, but faster than she thought possible, Kylo grabbed her by her wrists, and held them above her head.

He held both wrists together with just his right hand, and levered his body to the side to prevent her from kicking him where it truly hurt. Just to be safe, he used his left arm, and wrapped it across her legs.

“Get off me!”

Kylo leaned forward, their faces way too close. She headbutted him, eliciting a curse from him. Rey smiled, but he simply leaned closer, but put his head beside hers so his mouth was frighteningly close to her ear.

“It still isn't your reflex to use the Force as a weapon. As a shield. As a… tool.”

His voice sent shivers up her spine, but she continued to struggle against his hold.

“I dont want to abuse the Force,” she said.

“Rey… you wont survive unless you learn to use the Force for even the little things. I wouldn’t have been able to trap you earlier if it was your reflex to deflect it with the Force,” he said. He made her feel impossibly warm. She was burning, and she didn’t know why.

“Why is it important for you to make me stronger? Why not kill me, Kylo?” she said, unable to prevent the quiver in her voice.

“Because you’re…”

_I’m your..?_

_I’ll tell you someday…_

“Rey… I’ll never let you go,” he said, sounding remorseful.

“I’ll never stop trying to leave,” she said, equally sad.

“I know.” He finally rolled to the side, his chest heaving with the exertion of trying to keep her down. Rey turned her head to the side, not wanting to see his face, and looked out the wall length viewport revealing the space outside the Star Destroyer. The stars were winking in the darkness.

“I used to look out that window, and I would wonder where you were,” Kylo said as he began to twist strands of her hair around his fingertips. She let him, and she couldn’t have explained why.

“Do you still have nightmares?” She asked.

“They stopped recently.”

“Why?” she asked, although she feared she knew the answer.

He reached out, and carefully turned her head by moving her chin. She looked into his… beautiful eyes, and she saw the man whom she would talk to before going to sleep every night for almost a year.

“You have to be strong,” he said, instead of answering.

She nodded, not trusting her voice to respond without any sign of emotion.

“I’m not strong enough… but you will be. He caressed her face, and-

_Han Solo reached out with his hand, and_ -

-shook his head. “You have to be.” 


	3. A Different Prison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey go on a little field trip, as Rey has flashbacks to the last time they spent an extended amount of time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing the growth of a relationship between these two characters, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it, as well. Again, if there are any formatting issues, I apologize. I'm still writing and uploading from my cell. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey sped toward her X-wing, ignoring the branches she was smashing through, and felt her heart skip a beat when she caught sight of it in the middle of the clearing.

Her newfound joy left her as quickly as it appeared when, right before her eyes, an unseen force crushed the wings of the X-wing. The metal screeched, and smoke and alarms began to ring in the air even as Rey approached as fast as she could.

“Rey!” an all too familiar voice screamed behind her.

She jumped onto the nose of the X-wing, and-

Kylo pulled her off just as an explosion detonated within the cockpit, and then she was falling, falling, falling…

****  
 _Present day_

Rey paced from corner to corner in her small cell, even though she knew she should have been meditating. She knew it, but she couldn’t focus.

_Can you stop?_ Kylo said, irritation lacing his words through the bond.

_Sure, just let me go_ , she replied with a smirk. She did stop pacing, however.

_Ahh, we’re starting early today_ , he said, sounding slightly amused. It made her scowl at the wall, imagining his face.

_I’ll never stop, Ren_.

He didn’t reply immediately. Rey could feel him thinking on his end of the Bond, and she was annoyed that the fate of her life was in the hands of someone else. Someone who happened to be a homicidal maniac.

_I heard that, and since you’re wondering, I was thinking if I should walk my pet today._

_I’ll kill you._

_Really? Do you want to kill me_? He said, sounding curious, or even… hopeful. Rey paused, not knowing how to respond. Not knowing how to explain that she -

_What did you mean? Walking your pet_? she said, changing the subject.

_I have to go somewhere. I need to check on something, and since I cant leave you here… I may as well bring you with me._

_Are you inviting me out?_ Against her will, a slight smile appeared on her face. _Are you actually shy?_

_I could have you sedated. So, pet, get your things ready. I’ll be there shortly_.

Kylo closed his end of the Bond unceremoniously, leaving Rey to ponder what she was doing. She tried to remain hostile toward him, but it was getting harder and harder. As she looked around the jail cell she’d been trapped in for the past two weeks, she realized that she was imprisoned in a much crueler prison than she first realized.

_I’m waiting._

_****  
Before_

Pain was a constant, pulsing sensation that wracked her body. She felt it even as she dreamed of a pale murderer, of a peaceful island, and of being held in someone’s arms as she faded in and out of consciousness.

She opened her eyes slowly, and saw a plain grey ceiling above her. Too weak to sit up, Rey merely moved her head to the side, and what she saw made her wonder if she was still dreaming. She closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, and had to face reality when she opened them again and saw the same person.

Kylo Ren, wearing only his black tunic and pants, had his arms wrapped around his chest as he dozed off on an uncomfortable looking chair. His head was lolling to the side, and it made her wonder if he’d fallen off a couple times.

After the initial shock wore off, her eyes widened and panic - in all its glory - arrived. Her heartbeat skyrocketed, and she immediately tried to rise from her position, which elicited a pained groan from her abdomen.

Kylo’s eyes snapped open, and he closed the distance between the two of them faster than she could blink. His face hovered only inches away from hers.

“Are you okay? Did you tear open a wound?” he said, his brows furrowed in genuine concern over her wellbeing.

“I-a-uh whe-” she spluttered, dizzy from the whole situation.

Kylo squinted, and looked even more worried. He must have realized why she was confused, because he wiped the expression off his face, and straightened to his full, intimidating height. His head blocked the light fixture, casting a shadow over her.

“You were injured in the explosion. I tended to your wounds,” he said, his jaw twitching as if he felt guilt over his actions.

After a few moments of silence, Rey realized he expected her to say something. She cleared her parched throat.

“I… you’re… I mean. Thank you, Kylo,” she said, meeting his eyes for the first time. They retained their intensity, but his features softened, and he looked away from her, and walked away without another word.

She looked at his retreating back, and wondered if she was still dreaming, yet again.

****  
 _Present day_

  
Rey was silent beside Kylo as they made their descent into Tadokana. They were on the other side of the planet from Maz’s Cantina, but the endless green of the rainforest made it indistinguishable from the part of Tadokana that she had visited.

“You still havent told me why we had to take this shuttle. You also have yet to tell me why we’re here,” she said, looking in Kylo’s direction. He turned his head to the side, and Rey found herself woefully unprepared to see his unmasked face. Although she’d known he wouldn’t be masked, she always found it difficult to treat him like an enemy when she could see his face. Especially when he wore a blue tunic, a black vest, and black slacks like a normal civilian.

He would have seemed normal, if not for the scar across his face, and the intensity of his gaze which was partially obscured by the dark locks of his hair.

“We’re here to investigate another potential Awakening in the Force,” he said as he initiated the landing procedure. They were a few miles north of the nearest city, but Kylo had insisted on keeping the nondescript shuttle away from any law enforcement. It made Rey laugh that the one and only Kylo Ren was worried about being caught in a stolen ship.

“An awakening? Like me?”

He nodded curtly, and powered down the shuttle as the ramp was lowered. He left the cockpit, fully expecting her to follow. Rey grit her teeth, and begrudgingly trailed after him. She could almost see a smug look on his face as the ramp closed behind her, and they began their trek through the forest.

The trees were tall, of course, and the trunk of each tree was almost as wide as Rey was tall. It never failed to awe her when she witnessed nature and its beauty like this.

Kylo stomped his way through the forest trail, as if he was angry at nature for deigning to grow trees in his path. She rolled her eyes, and moved faster so that she walked side by side with him.

“What’s wrong, Renny?” she asked, pointedly using her new nickname for him.

He sent her a sidewards glance that made it clear he thought she was despicable. She stuck her tongue out at him, feeling triumphant.

“I hate the forest,” he growled.

Rey blinked, partly surprised that he’d actually answered. “What?”

He scowled at her before picking up his pace. She strained to keep up.

“The forest. There are creatures everywhere, it always rains, and the terrain is always uneven,” he said, waving his arm toward the forest like he was revealing a garbage dump.

“You’re insane,” she said. “The forest is amazing! There’s so much life around, and the rain is just cleansing. It's pure. Now, sand or the desert in general. That’s just horrid.”

“Ah, no fond memories of warm Jakku summers, I take it?” he said with a crooked grin.

She snorted. “If you can call crawling through the husk of some crashed Star Destroyer while the sun is beating down on your back and sand is getting everywhere a fond memory, then sure. There are loads.”

He laughed, and the sound of it almost stopped Rey in her tracks. It was loud and… genuine. It wasn’t mocking or cruel, as she had grown to expect from him. She returned his laugh with a smile, and he nodded at her, causing her to blush slightly.

“I don’t like leaving my lightsaber,” he said after a suitable amount of silence had passed.

“Are you afraid I’ll escape, Kylo?” she asked with a mischievous smile.

He stopped so suddenly that she was a few feet away from him before she realized and turned around to look at him.

“No,” he said quietly. “I’m afraid I cant protect you.”

She blushed, but refused to look away from him this time. She tilted her head to the side, and looked into his eyes, and knew he was being honest. “I can protect myself.”

“I know,” he said as she turned around and walked away, unable to face him any longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who noticed I did my own version of Anakin's "I hate sand" monologue? I couldn't help myself!


	4. Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues their little field trip and their flashback. Sparks fly!

Kylo curled his lips in disgust at the sight of the chaotic bazaar. Different species mingled with each other, but they argued as if they were all the same. In Kylo’s eyes, they were.

Rey nudged him with an elbow, and he looked at her with a confused glance.

“Try not to look like you want to kill them all,” she said before walking toward a stall.

“What if I do?” he asked, following her.

She shook her head, her three buns swaying slightly. He rarely saw her with a different hairstyle, and he’d been hoping that she’d let it flow down to her shoulders…

“Where are we going?” she asked.

He shook himself out of his daydreams. “The Force will guide us.”

Rey blinked at him in disbelief. “No, seriously.”

“I am being serious,” he hissed.

She smirked at him, and turned away. Kylo narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, and took an extra long stride so he was beside her.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hmm. For someone who supposedly hates his guts, you sure are similar to Master Luke,” Rey said, wagging a finger at him before skipping away.

He stared at her, his jaw agape. “My loathing for you knows no bounds,” he said.

She gave him a thumbs up over her shoulder, and he stomped towards her, his day not going how he planned at all.

****  
_**Before**_

Kylo growled as he tried to sleep on the uncomfortable chair. In reality, the pilot’s chair was actually comfortable - it was perfect for his size and it was genuine leather. It was not, however, meant for a man of his size to be using it as a substitute for a bed.

His bed was currently being occupied by an annoying Scavenger, and Kylo counted down every waking moment till he got her out of his hair.

The whispers in his mind told him to turn her to Snoke, but he ignored them, even as they ceased being whispers, and became more like shouts and screams.

Any time he felt like relenting to the demands of the voices, he would just think of the defiance in her eyes, and imagine the fight leaving her after his betrayal while she was at her weakest. He wouldnt do that to her. Not when… not when her passion was still intriguing.

He checked the chronometer, and decided he wasnt going to get any sleep, so he may as well check up on the girl. He waved the cockpit doors open, and went down the path leading to his quarters and opened the doors.

She was sitting on the middle of the cot in a classic Jedi meditation pose, and he couldnt hold back the snort. The girl opened her eyes, and glared at him. She was clearly feeling better.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice hard as steel.

“What do I want in my quarters?” he asked, unable to hide the amusement in his tone. She had the decency to appear bashful, and looked away from his unwavering stare.

“What do you hope to achieve, Kylo?” Rey said. Her voice was so quiet he almost missed it, but she wasn’t timid. She looked him back in the eye to prove it.

He stilled, and then clenched his hands into fists.

“Am I not allowed to do a good thing, then?” he yelled.

Rey jumped off the bed, and pointed an insolent finger at him. “You want something! Admit it. Don’t pretend you’re suddenly a decent human being after everything you’ve done,” she growled.

It stung to hear her voice her distrust so clearly, but she was right, after all. He’d worked very hard to make sure she was right about him being a terrible person.

“Consider this a one time thing, then. I don’t have time for ingrates like you anyhow,” he said, sorely tempted to break something. Anything. Everything.

“Me? I’m an ingrate? You grew up with everything, Ben-”

“That is not my name!”

“-And you threw it all away! You threw it away to satisfy this… this…”

“Say it,” he said, close enough to her that their chests would touch if he leaned forward even slightly. He didn’t remember closing the distance between them.

“Sickness!” she finally said, raising her chin.

Red filled his vision, and all he could think about was killing her.

 _Yes, kill her. End this_ , the voices in his head chanted.

“No,” he said, and he didn’t care that it was out loud. Rey frowned at him as he backed away from her.

_Take the saber-_

_Han Solo’s lifeless-_

_And stab her and-_

_Han Solo’s life force disappearing-_

Kylo was screaming on the ground, on his knees as the war in his mind raged. All he could see was Han Solo and all he could hear were the voices telling him to kill. All he could hear was Han saying Ben. All he could see was Rey’s corpse. He was going crazy and-

“Kylo,” a voice said. It wasn’t the voices in his head, or even the ghost of Han Solo haunting his mind. It was the voice that was a different kind of haunting entirely. He didn’t look at the source of the voice.

“Kylo,” she repeated, and he felt… a touch. She patted him lightly on the back, and he finally looked up at her. He was on his hands and knees, and she was crouching over him. With the light above her, she looked like an-

“Angel,” he muttered.

Rey shook her head, and continued rubbing circles on his back.

“I hate you, scavenger,” he said, even as her touch soothed him in ways that nothing ever had.

She didn’t reply. She knew the truth, after all.

****  
_**Present day**_

“What’s the Force telling you now, Renny?” Rey asked him as they strolled through the area a second time.

He grimaced at the nickname and shook his head at her. “I don’t sense anything.”

Rey hummed thoughtfully. “What are you supposed to.. feel?”

Kylo stopped, and Rey did the same, turning to look up at him. “Are you being serious?”

“Yes, is that so hard to believe?”

He nodded. “You’ve made it clear you don’t want to learn from me.”

“I don’t want to learn anything dark, but… I wouldn’t mind learning this. Or other things,” she said, hiding a blush by looking away.

He smiled, and it surprised the both of them that it was a genuine one. He coughed, and wiped it off his face, but she wasn’t fooled. Kylo grabbed her by the hand without thinking, and dragged her away from the crowd. She struggled against the hold for a second, but he squeezed her hand reassuringly, and she followed obediently.

_Why does this feel nice?_

He didn’t stop until they were in a secluded alley away from any bystanders, and she looked up at him with a curious glance. For some reason, it pleased him that she wasn’t afraid.

 _Progress_.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed.

She raised a questioning brow toward him, but he waved her concerns away. Rey closed her eyes after a few moments of watching him silently.

He closed his eyes before continuing. “Now reach out with the Force. Visualize a web that spreads out of you. Feel the Force within, and feel how it spreads through that web.”

Kylo followed his own advice, and saw it clearly in his own mind.

“Now, imagine the life that’s caught in the web. Imagine the people connected by lines and dots and-”

“I see it,” Rey said in a hushed, but excited tone.

“Good. Describe it.”

“The people in the bazaar… they feel like static. Similar but different. But you…”

“Go on,” he said, his voice an octave lower.

“You feel… like a blown fuse.”

He laughed, and opened his eyes to see her holding back her own laugh.

“Ah, pet, don’t you want to know how you feel?”

She stopped smiling abruptly, and visibly swallowed before nodding. He sobered up as well, and thought about his answer as he moved toward her until her back was pressed against the wall of a building, and he was leaning down with his face barely an inch away from hers.

She reached out with a hand, but she didn’t push him away. She kept her hands splayed across his chest. Firm but gentle… so Rey.

He smiled with his lips pressed against her cheek before leaning down further and finally kissed her. Her lips were moist from all her lip biting, and his were dry from the cold of his mask that he almost always wore, but it felt right. He knew it was wrong. He pulled away after she slanted her head and kissed him back, but his face was still dangerously close to hers.

“You feel like lightning,” he whispered into her ear, and he felt her shudder against him.

“What are we doing, Kylo? What am I doing? What… what are you doing?”

“Ah, Rey. I haven’t known that for a long time. All I know is that I’ve been struck by lightning, and I’m okay with that,” he said with a slight laugh.

She smacked him on the chest, and he faked a grunt of pain.

“We can’t, Kylo,” she said, reaching up to whisper in his ear this time.

“No,” he said as he leaned back down to kiss her again. She sighed, but met his kiss halfway. Her lips were still unbearably soft.

She was lightning, and he was willing to do whatever it took to trap her in his own little bottle.

 


End file.
